Spiritual Desert

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The year following my baptism in 2005, I suffered from a depression. I nourished wounds from the past, questioned present pains, and tried to solve my problems through introspection and motivational self-talk. I was lost in an area run dry–until God spoke to me through Palm 63.

He said, “Cling to Me. I am the Answer to all your questions, the Solution to every problem.”

It was my breakthrough. Pride and bitterness dissolved as I reached out to Him and surrendered my all.

He healed me and led me out of my spiritual desert.

Psalm 63 is still important to me, especially verse 8.

My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.

It has become the anchor that holds me close to the Source of Life.

Inspired by Psalm 63, I wrote the following haibun.

——————

I’m walking–no, trudging.

Where am I? 

My feet trip over a rock hidden under the cover of darkness. Branches slap my face, thorns scratch my skin. A sharp pain shoots through my hands and knees when they hit the rough ground. 

Moaning, I get back on my feet and stumble on.

Where’s the path?

My breath comes in raw gasps. Bitterness burns my mouth, dry despair my soul.

Water.

Evil reaches for my legs, encircles my spinning thoughts. It weaves a web of lies–I’m stuck. I squirm, I twist. Deceiving threads tighten around my heart.

Help

A Voice calls my name. I hear
and cling to Him. Praise!
All’s calm, I’m free, my path’s clear.

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12 thoughts on “Spiritual Desert

  1. Welcome to The Loft, Milly. This morning, your fighter verse, Psalm 63:8 speaks deeply into my heart. As I walk through a bit of a trial with my aging Mother, I am reminded to rely on His mighty right Hand to hold me…and my Mother up. Thanks for joining us!!

  2. I love your haibu! Such a beautiful picture of this verse. I too, have struggled with depression. The only relief I found was in the Word! Jesus truly is the only answer. Have a blessed week!

  3. I’ve never heard of haibu, but I LOVE IT!!! When I was in a depression desert, I wrote poetry too. Now, as I look back, the things God taught me and the ways I experienced His love during that time are such treasures. Thank you for joining us at The Loft.

  4. Oh Milly, what a breath of fresh air it is to read this. We all have those dry times and all the Christian hype in the world is insufficient to rescue us. I just love what you have shared here. Thank you so much for being part of this community. You add such a rich dimension. It’s an honor, friend, to have you along each week.

    • Oh yes, the Spirit of Truth moves among His children. What a beautiful poem you wrote, Chris. I’ve lived it. Caught in the lies of self-importance, while real freedom and victory is not found in pride but in surrender. Bless you:)

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